Let’s see what EnchanteurW is up to in his side project. I expect it from the usually fast-paced W and just like a normal romantic k-drama, but from skimming it, there’s some elements in Ms Song’s kdramas that crept it.

Episode 1 - Commentary

There’s a mistake in frame no 4. You used Lee Seol’s picture instead of Ye-ri’s.

As soon as Ji-hoon is introduced, I was thinking if this is going to be a love triangle between Lee Seol and Ye-ri.

At frame no 7, we are introduced to Gong Yu. Manager Jang was introduced in earlier frames.

Lee Seol appeared in a line then a flash back to GY’s accident. Did LS and GY meet before the events of Episode 1?

Frame no 8, LS and Yeri are interacting. There’s no mention yet of their relationship. Perhaps they’ve only met in this frame.

Still in frame 8: 3.500.000 wons v 3,500,000 won

I suppose in French, you use periods (.) whereas English would use commas(,) for place values of tens, 100s, etc. It’s in the French text but an honest mistake.

I haven’t read Pride and Prejudice yet so if PnP would be relevant to this drama, I won’t catch the references.

Anyway, I thought earlier that GY’s accident was a flashback. I guess that yellowed text was just intrusive thoughts.

Anyway in frame no 9, LS looks determined even if the store looks like a mess.

Anyway, JH sees LS, a rather cliché encounter.

Start of frame no 10, wtf. She spent so much time with the crowbar and she still can’t remove the nail.

Park Kyu-jyung: When I was skimming this earlier and saw PKJ, is EnchanteurW a Joseon man and transporting him to the present? But reading this, looks like it’s only a costume.

A rather comic scene where the Joseon cosplayer met LS then left her in character….almost and leaving a business card. I don’t think they had business cards during that time.

Now we meet ESOM. Oh boy, this is gonna be a reverse harem instead of a straight forward romcom.

Anyway, it’s another funny scene. He appeared to be violent, but he helps remove the plank. Stranger still is that he is rather poetic, a stark contrast to the impression he gave earlier.

Frame no 12 

She repeats the earlier catchphrase: ‘We don’t lend books. We offer or sell them.’

Then the three men earlier came to the store.

Frame no 13 

LS is in here but she is not supposed to be here. I guess it’s one of those inserts where a character utters a relevant line.

Anyway, GY is in deep shit. If ever he wake up, he would be constantly irritable. It’s likely that he’ll be part of LS’s harem. (I’m okay with harem and reverse-harem in anime, so I don’t mind it in this drama.)

Frame no 14 

Yeri has a daughter with a heart condition. I wonder what role she will play.

Frame no 15

Yeri is interacting with her daughter. I reckon this is supposed to be a melodramatic scene, but I cannot feel anything due to limitation of text. Perhaps watching it and seeing their tears with some somber music, it would have impact.

Anyway, I’m getting used to LS being inserted and uttering a line that’s relevant to the scene.

Anyway, from frames 17 to 20 onwards, we see GY and his brother. Not much is happening at the moment. Perhaps this is to show that GY is just learning the ropes of the business. He’s a newbie with running a restaurant as much as LS is a newbie with running a bookstore.

Frame no 21: A new character with Chef Kim. (There’s many characters I haven’t mentioned. It’s too much to keep up. I’ll just go with the flow and hope that I can recall who this bloke or lady is when their role becomes relevant.)

Frame no 24: LS and GY are quarelling. Are they the OTP?

Anyway, GY can’t win with the way LS is constantly switching between literal and figurative response to a question.

Frame no 26: KH looks at LS worried. Whilst it’s not a strong cliffhanger as those you use in W4, it’s good enough to lead to Episode 2.

From what I’ve seen, there’s no reason for anyone to be worried with LS. Perhaps he knows something we don’t know.

Conclusion

So far it’s a rather mundane drama. I’m not sure how to classify it yet: slice of life? Romcom, which is what you put in the synopsis? Or perhaps reverse harem.

Anyway, books and bookstores as props is also a positive.

If this is just 4 episodes, I don’t know how you’ll wrap it within that so few episodes, unless of course there’s room for episodes 5 or more in the future.

Dramas like this tend to be slow burn, and I’m talking about dramas that are from 1 hour up to 1.5 hours. And they start to pick pace around Episode 5 or up to Episode 7.

If this is really only 30 minutes per episode, I’m afraid the pacing of the drama might be off. With all the details given, it might be too much information in only 30 minutes.

• • Enchanteur

    Tuesday 2nd January at 05:25
    

    Hello. Thanks for reading.

    Here, a few attempts to improve writing and comprehension. For example, I use additional information in parentheses at the beginning of some scenes. 

     

    #4. This is a Lee Seol voice-over! She's not here. (~ text in italics). From the very first scene, Lee Seol is a sort of Narrator. We hear her in short bursts afterwards. 

    Her words have a link with the scene in progress, as if she were here and seeing it, whereas she's not. 

    It's also a way of transitioning scenes that have little to do with each other.

     

    #5. The first version didn't include Ji-Hoon in this scene. I added him because it seemed logical that he'd be one of the regular characters for renting the store next door. It makes the scene fun, but also emphasizes "Ye-Ri's" first name. We know from reading her name, but an audience watching the drama doesn't.

     

    #6. Possible change: a short insert where the agent says Ji-Hoon's name. 

     

    #7. LS line, just a voice-over. Flashback doesn't show who the young woman is.

     

    #8. I corrected the translation of the amount. Thank you.

    Alas, I don't have enough drama structure and book knowledge to make sense of the book choice. But I suppose screenwriter Park Hye Ryun would use a title that makes sense with the story.

     

    #10. He's a neighborhood shopkeeper, dressed in old-fashioned clothes. He seems like a con man because he scares people, then gives them a business card (where it says he practices exorcism. So he's a shaman).

     

    #11. BINGO! It's a reverse harem. ^^

    The scene is a bit absurd as no one would come with an axe without saying their intention in advance. 

     

    #12. Lee Seol's voice-over is a catch-phrase presumably having something to do with Gong Yu in a coma. Even if she doesn't know it. 

    Gong Yu got himself into trouble. We're guessing he might run into Lee Seol later, yes.

     

    #15. Maybe it's possible to improve the text to make it more moving? I don't know, I don't have any more ideas right now.

     

    #17-23. The drama takes the time to introduce more of Ji Hoon's world (a bit like a slice of life?). With a bit of comedy of course, and we see that he's cheeky and exploits his family! But this is mostly an introduction to the next scene...

     

    #24. You say "GY", but I assume you're referring to Ji Hoon (JH).

     

    #26. Originally, I wrote a 1h50 document. Then it was inconvenient to read, so I cut it into 4 parts. I tried to find cliffhangers, even when there weren't any. ^^

     

    Conclusion. 

    Yes, it's hard to classify the type of drama. But many elements serve as a set-up. A bit too much to be a slice-of-life.

    There's no wrap-up. The principle of this project is to write the beginning of a drama. But not its sequel. This can be a little frustrating.

    It can't be longer than 30 minutes per episode. That's what the word count estimation gives me.